sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Dicks are not precious.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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