And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize