You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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