I am in a vortex of obligation.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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