The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
