he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
