There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
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