allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
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