do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
