Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Drunk is not a location!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
