everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
