if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
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she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
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i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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