After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
