dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
