It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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