Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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