Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
