I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
she pinky promised me she was 18
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
