i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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