Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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