Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
