What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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