there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
