you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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