It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
