Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
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I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
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The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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