I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
