dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
