Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
