i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I love having hate sex.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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