If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
