I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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