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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.

  (240): View more from Maryland

  What a good friend

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  that would be two times in a week with two different guys.

  (913): View more from Kansas

  they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?

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• (253): View more from Washington

  at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  Stop whining I left you with whiskey

  (224): View more from Illinois

  YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.

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• (925): View more from California

  You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens

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• (924): View more from

  He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.

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• (925): View more from California

  You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Seriously, come on.

  (520): View more from Arizona

  I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.

  (520): View more from Arizona

  I hate you.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.

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