Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I need water and some morals
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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