So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
