Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
