..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My hand turned me down
and she was petting her beer can
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
