fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize