dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
