WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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