I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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