i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
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If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
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I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis