It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
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Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
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And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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