tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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