Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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