Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
