I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
They should really pass out barf bags in church
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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