Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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