This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize