I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I think your dad took our porno
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
