yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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