Buhtt sex?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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