I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
