new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
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Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
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and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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