it hurts more in the daytime
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
