May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
