Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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