this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
